I've been absent for a couple months. Anticipation of this baby has made me a nesting fiend as I've been consuming any of my spare time preparing - getting his/her nursery ready, making freezer meals, buying diapers, attending doctor appointments, etc.
In addition to my pregnancy appointments, I also see my Gastroenterologist quite frequently for my Crohn's and Ulcerative Colitis. It wasn't ever that great throughout the first and second trimester but as the weight of the baby puts more stress on my intestines and especially my colon, my disease has become quite irritable. After discussing with my Gastroenterologist what to do, he still heavily suggested I take Humira. It is a biologic medication that is self-administered with a 'pen', much like an insulin pen. How it works is it blocks certain proteins in your intestines that cause inflammation - it's called a TNF blocker. Most moderate to severe diseases can be controlled through a biologic medication. I had decided to go ahead and start this medication after delivery. The information I could find about breastfeeding and Humira indicated that there were no studies done by the drug manufacturer for safety reasons and also due to how new this drug is, but from what researchers could suggest, the protein molecules are too large to fit through the breast ducts. Today, I actually called the drug manufacturer, who informed me that I need to choose one or the other: breastfeed or take Humira. Argh. I understand it is their duty to advise me against breastfeeding due to the lack of evidence on taking Humira while pregnant/breastfeeding, but now I feel thrown for a loop. I don't know that my disease will improve once I have the baby. Perhaps the stress the pregnancy has caused on my condition will dissipate once baby is here. Or perhaps it will worsen. At this point, I feel I must continue unmedicated and hope and pray things improve enough. But if it gets worse..... well, I'll have to cross that bridge when I get to it. I'm feeling very frustrated. But there is absolutely NO WAY I would choose not to breastfeed. I breastfed Oliver while on Remicade (another biologic medication) and studies showed that no more than 0.3% of the drug passed through to the baby. I still made the decision to do both. Depending on the severity of the disease after pregnancy, I may have to make that decision again.
Baby #2 has been different for me in 3rd trimester. My first two trimesters felt quite similar with both Oliver and this current pregnancy, but once 3rd trimester hit, there were some differences. For one, because I was able to get the help I needed right away with my Hyperemesis Gravidarum, I have been able to eat more with this pregnancy, meaning I'm already 10 lbs heavier at this point of my pregnancy that I was with Oliver. I gained 15-18 lbs total with Oliver. As a result, I feel like a whale with this pregnancy and have accumulated some tiger stripes (stretch marks). I also think due to the weight of the baby and other extra fluids in my body, the strain on my sacrum (lower back/tailbone) has been very painful. I bought a belly band to help with some of the pressure and have been going to my chiropractor every other week this trimester. I even got a massage! They all offer temporary relief, but ultimately, the pain will always be there as long as this weight is hanging on my front. I am also carrying this baby MUCH lower than I did with Oliver. It literally feels like it's going to fall out of me half the time. Uncomfortable doesn't quite cover how I want to describe this feeling....it's to the point of painful.
As any woman who has been pregnant full term can tell you, the last month of pregnancy is miserable. The last couple weeks of pregnancy is murder. I am 39 weeks and am "over it". But I know this could go on for another 3 weeks. 3 weeks may not sound so awful but when you're already 39 weeks pregnant, 3 weeks sounds like torture.
I'll continue to grapple with what to do about my disease once this baby is born, on top of all the other newborn struggles and post partum healing. As always, my support team is incredible. My husband encourages me and says "you're almost done" every day and says I'm doing a good job and listens to my complaints. My mom and sisters, sisters in-law, and friends have been wonderful and cheerful as they politely receive my videos and pics of my baby moving around in my belly, often touching my belly as this little one is very active. Their excitement leaves me excited. My family has been so helpful with preparing for baby, giving opinions on paint colors, and rug options, building shelves and furniture. And of course my mom, thank you for going to the birthing class with us, believing in me and what my body is made for - bring this baby earth side.
Come on, baby. Momma's ready for you.
