The Leaf Lady

I want to talk about weaning and sleep training Oliver but it's still a sensitive spot for me and I get weapy. Yes, I made this decision to be done with it, but it doesn't make it any easier emotionally. My hormones are changing to a non-lactating woman, my breastfeeding bond is no longer there and I'm learning to cope. It's liberating in some ways but still sad. And here I am talking about it! So I'll stop.

But, mom! I don't want to drink milk from this thing!!!
 

What's been heavy on my mind the past couple months is weighing the pros and cons of doing the Remicade IV infusions for my ulcerative colitis. Here's my list:

PROS:
*Remicade put me in remission and I haven't had a flare up for almost 3 years
*it worked quickly and effectively
*as a result, I haven't had to have a colonoscopy in about 2.5 years (they suck)
*I've always enjoyed Sanford's complimentary meal when I get infused. Usually breakfast for me. Aaaand their excellent selection of newly-released movies. I get to watch the movies I want to watch that Travis refuses to...but only every 8 weeks.

CONS
*Remicade is a chemotherapy - chemotherapy has residual, long-lasting effects
*33% of patients get headaches and migraines (ding ding ding! that's me!)
*many patients also experience fatigue, muscle pain, joint pain (ding ding ding!)
*I am expected to do this treatment indefinitely.  That means forever....until they come up with something better, or determine that Remicade is, in fact, harmful. That seems to happen a lot. The FDA is fickle.

Now, let's say hypothetically, I discontinue use (against doctor's orders...believe me, I tried to talk to my GI doc about it, he wasn't supportive) and I don't have issues for months or years or ever! It's possible! Or, what happens if I regress? and I'm back to the place I was almost 4 years ago? anemic from blood loss, severe cramping, fatigue, on multiple medications, undergoing medical procedures. I don't want to go back to that. But I also don't want to continue in the direction I'm headed now: a lifetime of drugs. I want to be healthy. I want to be natural. I want to be youthful. Vivacious. Clean (yes, I shower almost daily). I want to feel alive and energized and rigorous.

My mom goes to an herbalist/nutritionist and she was able to successfully get her off medication a while ago. I'd never really asked for much info about the procedure because, frankly, I wasn't interested at the time. But since we all know per my post a few weeks ago, that in the past year and a half I have been taking strides towards a healthy, paleo, toxin free lifestyle, I wanted to know more about this "leaf lady". Out of curiosity and speculation, I decided to have a consult with Amy. My cleanse and herbal regime is for a different post because honestly, it's a lot but most of what I am taking and was taking over the past 8 weeks or so has gradually decreased. Amy muscle tested me or some might know it as applied kinesiology. Here's a little info about that because if I try and explain it, I'll sound like a weirdo. http://www.goodhealthinfo.net/herbalists/muscle_testing.htm

Whether you choose to follow this lifestyle or not, it doesn't really matter to me. I realize most people will think I'm off my rocker for pursuing this but the most important people in my life understand it and support my decisions OR know well enough just to let me be with my witch's cauldron.

I'm sure you can see which way I'm leaning in regards to my treatment decision. The true test will be how my body handles my disease and if I can truly rely on what nature has provided for millennia  to treat and heal my inflammation by means of herbs and holistic healing.

In the meantime, here's my vigilant inspiration. It seems he still loves me despite all ....